Have Reasonable Expectations from Your Children

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Have Reasonable Expectations from Your Children - By: Dr. Noel Swanson.., Posted on: 2007-04-09

Every parent has expectations of their children. These expectations are formed unconsciously from our own wants and desires. They are important. Expectations form the foundation for many things in our lives.

As a parent, it is your duty to discover and develop his hidden talents and not impose your own desires on him to fulfill your dreams. The key is to have positive and reasonable expectations for your children. But, it is not easy to draw a line between reasonable and unreasonable expectations.

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To come to any reasonable conclusion about the reasonableness of your expectations you will have to do some research – inside and outside. Outside, compare your expectations with others; don’t compare your children with other’s children. Look into what the established child behavior guidelines are for your child's age. If a child at one is not expected to construct a full sentence, don’t expect it from your child.

And, inside, look at yourself objectively, or put yourself in the shoes of the child and you will get a fairly good idea whether it is you or your children who are being unreasonable.

If you know your child is doing his or her best in school, and they are an average student, expecting average grade work is reasonable because they are doing their best and you know it's their best. Child behavior expectations take a bit of common sense. And it is important to establish reasonable expectations of your children.

Remember, unreasonable expectations lead to disappointment. You can save yourself a lot of frustration if you keep your expectations reasonable. Unreasonable expectations can damage the self-esteem of the child irreparably. So, be very conscious of what you expect your child do; he may not be able to measure up to some of your expectations.

Once you've established what is reasonable as an expectation in child behavior or child discipline in different areas, formulate a set of goals and hold to them. Make sure to reward your children for meeting those expectations and encourage them to reach more, once they've reached one.

Children thrive on love and praise. Encouraged by rewards they strive to reach higher goals. Never try to impose your desires onto your children. If you couldn’t achieve your goals, don’t re-live your dreams through your children. That only creates negative environment, child behavior problems and child discipline issues. Reasonable expectations promote growth and positive self image and are an essential parenting skill.

Get the most effective and valuable tips to handle children's behavior problems.Click here

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Dr. Noel Swanson writes regularly for Yes Parenting website and also has a free newsletter on children's behavior problems.
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